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| I've come to realize i only use this space in times of need. I'm sorry xanga, I really don't have time to casually update you and even so. blogging these days seems scarce (well at least among my circle of friends.) Had my birthday dinner last night @ The Sultan's Tent, it was a great celebration with a few friends & it was pretty entertaining with all the belly dancing while we were eating. In addition to the four course meal, the ambience was so beautiful. I felt like I was transported to a whole new world :) I've been waiting for ages to turn 19. (unlike singapore, the legal age in most parts of Canada is 19. So it's been a pretty hard 2 years for me...) & finally I can rejoice in the glory of using my own identification and flash it like I really own it! (Lol). Finals start on the 9th and ends on the 15th. I'm a tad bit behind (I've been slacking off a bit). It's time to get rid of distractions and start mugging, in addition, i've got loads of research papers due over the span of the next 2 weeks :/ *just can't wait for a well deserved holiday* In addition, i miss attending concerts. I realize, i'm forever broke $$, i don't even know what i spend all my cash on - clothes? food ? transport ?
I don't know, but i really need to hire an accountant or finance assistant or something before I become MC Hammer broke. On a happier lighter note, I've been really happy and feeling really blessed & loved lately. Maybe it's the season to be jolly : birthday/x'mas/holidays??
but whatever it is, I'd like to keep this cherry spirits of mine last as long as it will. Alright that was a pretty decent update that didn't involve weird confusing paragraphs (like i'm usually so accustomed to) Lol.  best roommate ever (like really)
Have a pleasant week ahead everyone!
With ravishing kisses
xxx ps: i miss my long hair :( | | |
| The water makes me feel so meek, I like standing in it and yet it amazes me how something so pure can wash away all the impurities. But it could never wash away the sinner in me. I feel so repentant all the fucking time. There are so many days I think of you and wish you were still here. Ah, don’t we all with the one who got away? I spend my days awake but torpefied half the time. Constantly am I being drowned in your thoughts, that familiar face haunts me with every breath. You used to be my reflection. But pardon me; I fell in love with myself and the claws of your beautiful distant soul. I’m sorry my love, I yearn for to be even a second in the radius of your heart. Everything is breaking everything is falling- earthquake… you said you’ll never let me go, but why oh why am I floating in the subconscious of the dead sea? | | |
| HOLA EUROPE! | | |
| Wow, haven't been on this page since god-knows-when. (well technically, roughly a month). Been in Vancouver for the past 3 weeks or so. Being here just reminds me why I came here in the first place, I mean yes I've got very lovely friends here - but reasons aside - i fell in love with the city, over and over again. It's such a pretty sight now isn't it, mountains scraping at the background, with seas and lakes and little airplanes, and the canadian spirit keeps this all alive. Gosh, being here just makes me question WHY i had ever moved to Toronto in the first place... ... Been thinking a lot about the life I've been living. I've been focusing all my time and energy into all the wrong places, I've drifted from focusing on myself, which scares me on so many new levels. But I'm trying, everyday, trying to place myself before others, to garner all the happiness in the world and let it flow through my heavy shoulders. I miss my girlfriends, I think I've pretty much figured out the ones I wanna grow old with. I feel so lucky, so blessed to be sincerely loved by friends who have seen me through rain or shine, through broken bones or perfect skin, through ripped hearts or blinded in love. Pretty damn much - everything. If i could, I'd tell you everyday how much our friendship means to me.
"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart."
 2008. *Shall do a picture filled post on Vancouver, when I get back to Singapore!*
Will be back on June 29 :)
aka Abby's birthday  | | |
| You know how when someone says he or she understands what you are going through? Most of the time they really don’t, most of the time they TRY, with every inch of humanity they have, they try to place themselves in your shoes. But every single time, the size is always wrong, or either the laces can’t be tied, or the Velcro has worn out. No one could walk in a mile in those shoes, or worst still, a lifetime. I then wonder, why do they say such words? To make me feel better? But with all due respect, it just makes every emotion I had left in me become so magnified. But how could you blame such poor lost souls, for their imagination is so skewed that nothing could ever really save it. I believe that in every life, we can never be sure about anything, nothing is ever certain, and everyday loads of people are born and just like a pedestal, they have to die too. It always intrigues me of how many shudder away from death, like it’s a bad omen or something. Some see it as some sort of spiritual awaking, I just see it as life. It’s inevitable isn’t it, our lives mirrors that of a ticking bomb. Tick tock tick tock tick tock BOOM. How is it then I ask, that some could live and die without even seeing half of what the world has to offer? How is fair, that some good-hearted souls who work to build this place we live in called earth, to be better- and in return- get banished from this even more broken and destroyed world? Unfortunately, that leaves us with people with cold hearts and foolish intentions. It breaks me when I see life twist a person’s fate, and in that matter, a good soul. What have his family or himself truly actually done that he deserves to be punished? Everyone says life isn’t fair, I’d say, death isn’t. Life is fair, we’re all given one, but death is the reason why we’re afraid, why we would rather walk away from a dying person then save him or her, why we would live our whole lives cooped up in our narrow judgment of the world. There are some out there, who believe that the life we live is sacred, that everyday, we have to embrace it with wide arms, but we cannot only embrace it, we have to question it, we have to give answers to millions of people who’ve lost someone. I feel its injustice that death takes a person away and leaves the mourners with no answers. no answers. no answers. How does one live with that? They just learn to move on and live with the pain. Didn’t your mother tell you, time waits for no man, but death does. 
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